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Written by Bob Hunt - The Positive Observer
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Thursday, 16 April 2009 |
 About 20 years ago, one of my sons was graduating from U.S. Navy Recruit Training (boot camp) in San Diego. My wife and I went to the ceremonies. The night before the graduation they had a Parents Night. During the evening one of the speakers, a Senior Chief Petty Officer, talked about how the military achieves the results they do with these young men and women. Many of the parents talked about how focused their son or daughter was and what a positive attitude they had after this experience. The Chief Petty Officer explained that military training is based on positive motivation. This seemed strange until he explained how soldiers and sailors must have a “can do” attitude or their unit or ship would fail.
Giving a young man or women expensive weapons or equipment, putting them in battle situations, or extremely stressful situations, requires that “can do” attitude. Our early lives are filled with “don’t, can’t, stop, no, etc.” Most of the words we hear are not very positive. He explained how the military strives to change such a mindset; if not,then the soldier or sailor would certainly fail. His presentation has come back to me many times over the years. I thought it would work with most things in life, especially coaching.
A few years back I coached a women’s hockey team. I planned all the training and practices to be positive in nature. It was hard to not criticize anything, but rather set goals and achievement levels for the players to reach. Instead of saying “that’s not what we want,” I used language like “do you think you could do this with some practice and instruction?” The results were very good.
One of my favorite "positive" coaches is former UCLA Basketball coach,
John Wooden. He has written several books on the subject. My favorite
is They Call Me Coach. He talks about constant, daily improvement.
Look back at the end of the year and see what you have achieved. It
will amaze you. Coach Wooden would ask basketball players if they
could score one more basket every 2 ½ games. Most would say they could
– that’s less than a ½ basket a game. Do you know you would probably
win the NCAA every year if your team could do this?
I’ve coached youth hockey with my son Jim. He is the best at positive coaching. Think about it. Do kids go play a game hoping the adult coach will yell at them? Do you respond best when someone raises their voice and criticizes you? Probably not. My son stresses skill building, teamwork and good sportsmanship.
Sometimes losing is a better experience than winning. If you made more progress in a loss it could be a good thing. Telling players, even though they lost, that this was their best game, could be the truth. Encouraging rather than discouraging is a better approach. Ever wonder why kids quit a sport. It is usually because the coach or one of their parents is constantly criticizing them. It goes from being a fun game to just being humiliated. Sometimes mom and dad try to live out their dreams through their child.
Here are some ideas you might consider when coaching a youth player or in a "coaching" role:
- Make practices fun.
- Demonstrate what you want done and then look for “buy in.”
- Avoid using negative words or criticizing an action. If it is done wrong, then ask your player to try again and explain what result you want. Demonstrate if you can.
- Constantly remind yourself that it is a game and your youth player wants to play a game because it is fun. Don’t ruin it.
- Do you remember who won last year’s Little League World Series. If it is so important why don’t you know. Sure, it is fun to win and it’s great to keep score. Life is full of scores.
- Losing doesn’t mean you played bad. If two teams play, one will have this role.
- Youth sports and activities should be fun, educational and a growing experience.
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