Article  Source: The Positive Observer

We come into this world as either a boy or a girl. We are one or the other. Each gender is wonderfully unique in its own special way. Each holds the promise of life, knowledge and inspiration. From day one, our intrinsic needs are required and supported by both genders. Both parents offer the fundamental resources to assist us on being human and on being alive. Together, each gender grows and experiences the world; each minute of every day and in every life. These experiences have a profound impact on how we see and interact with the world.

Looking Back: What are our perceptions of the opposite gender?  Beginning in our early childhood years, what representations do we hold of each other? Most of our core values and belief systems are rooted in our earliest years of childhood. The environmental factors we experienced during childhood can continue to shape who we are and how we interact in the world today. It is important to look back and see why or what we may continue to see today. In regards to this article, let's place the spotlight on what it means to be a boy.

According to William Pollack, Ph.D and Michael Thompson, Ph.D (authors of books about understanding and raising boys), it is very important for people, especially adults, to understand what boys, men or masculinity represents to them. If childhood experiences shape our perceptions, fears, joys and opinions, then what images or labels do we hold in relation to what it means to be a boy?

Pollack and Thompson stress that it is especially important for mothers to determine what attitude they hold regarding men and masculinity. A mother's attitude will have a direct influence on the mother-son relationship and on how the son will view "relationships" with girls later in life. This is especially true if the mother is a single parent. As for a father, his attitude will determine what he teaches his son on what is acceptable to be a guy and what is masculine.

"Boys need us to see the promise in them and they need us to be excited about them being boys." - William Pollack, Ph.D

Parents, as well as young adults, should think back on childhood and their family history with brothers, cousins, their father, grandfather or other males in the community. Reflect back on the cultural expectations of boys and masculinity. Boys at play, in school, at home, the wrestling, etc. What early experiences do you hold in relation to boys? How were males represented on TV and in the media? How about today?

Consider what qualities you admire most about boys and masculinity? What did you hold as special and as positive attributes back in your childhood days? What do you hold in high regards now?

Parents, both mother and father, play a big part in developing a boy's self-esteem, confidence and masculinity. Mothers play an even bigger role in his emotional development. After all, mom is the "first woman" in a boy's life. Remember your roots. Understand what being a boy means to you.